The Hills Are Alive
by Arones
Summary: Magnus takes Will to Austria in honor of Ashley's birthday-WARNING: this is a crack fic and its my first one so please be kind.  but also please tell me if its bad
1. Chapter 1

Will was a little frightened by the look in her eyes. He had seen it once before, years before when she had made then all go find the source blood and James Watson had been the one to call her out on it. He was debating whether or not to call her on it. She had just informed him that she was taking him to Austria. After they had crash landed in the Gulf in an abandoned oil rig Will had been careful to plan all his conferences around Ashley's birthday.

Helen had gladly taken advantage of the fact and had asked him to do something with her every year since that Ashley would have liked to do. They had gone to Dublin on one of the trips, Will's favorite of course; they had also gone to Madrid and spent a weekend on the beaches and in museums. He doubted Ashley would have liked the museums but probably would have gone just to placate her mother. But Austria? What the hell was in Austria that she could be taking him to?

"We're flying into Salzburg in two days, Will." Again, that gleam and she was practically bouncing in her heels. He was sitting cautiously in his office and staring at her with a measured look, a pen locked between his two fingers.

"Salzburg."

"Yes, Ashley always wanted to go there, visit some of the…tourist spots as well as native places only I would know about."

"Austria…really?" He set the pen down and leaned back into the chair making it tilt away from her.

"Yes," she smiled again and the gleam was back. "So you'll come?"

"Of course, Magnus. I told you, every year I would go with you wherever you wanted to go."

"Ok. So Austria?"

He couldn't figure out why she was being so nervous about this and asking him a million times if he would go. She knew he would do anything for her, right? "Yes, Magnus. I will be going with you to Austria on the plane in two days at…" he looked at the email she had sent him with their reservations on it "Five in the morning? Jesus Magnus could you pick an earlier flight?"

"I wanted to get there before it was too late in the morning, there's a lovely little pastry shop I want to take you to."

"Morning."

"Time zones Will, and travel time. We should be getting in around nine in the morning."

"God that's going to be a long day." He wiped his hands through his hair; he had a ton of paperwork to do before they left. Not to mention packing—how did she do it all and so quickly?

"Feel free to sleep on the plane."

"Right…" He wiped his hands on his pants and starting to make a list in his head of what needed to get done before he was going to leave.

"I'll leave you to it then." Her heels clacked as she left and Will turned to his laptop deciding that he would first take care of the least pressing matter. Procrastination was always better done in this manner and it was something he had completely perfected.

Pulling up his personal email account, the one Abby was allowed to use he composed a simple letter stating he would be gone from such and such date to such and such date and the he was sorry for the short notice but knew she would understand and the he would make it up to her when he got back for canceling yet again on their plans.

The reply he received rather quickly, even for Abby and he was sure it was just an agreement to his change of plans, but he opened it anyway.

_Will,_

_I'm writing to inform you that your travel plans no longer concern me. I have found someone closer to home who is willing to love and care for me when I need it. Not everything is about you, Will, maybe one day you'll realize that. _

_Abby_

He read it over again and again. He was trying to figure out where the email had come from. Had she been taken over by the undersea parasite that had stolen Magnus in the sub, because this certainly couldn't be his Abby who had typed those words? Could it?

Apparently he had been staring at the computer for a good long time because when he looked up his office was completely dark and Magnus was staring at him with an odd look on her face. "Something wrong?"

"Uh…" he glanced back at the monitor that was still glowing, he must have been moving the mouse, "no, sorry. Was there something you needed?"

She pointed out the door, "It's dinner time, we were just wondering if you were going to join us."

He glanced at his watch, the files still littering his desk and again at his watch. Deciding that he wouldn't be getting much done anyway and his stomach rumbling couldn't be put off any longer he stood and made his way to her. "Yes, what's on the menu?"

* * *

><p>"Will, did you sleep at all in the two days?" Magnus was sitting next to him on a first class commercial flight. Her legs were crossed and her skirt unreasonably short for traveling and he couldn't help it if his eyes tracked up them and over her chest until they hit her, very amused, eyes.<p>

"Uh," his voice was crazy scratchy and his concentration was waning. "No."

"That's not good, Will." She settled back and closed her eyes as the plane wheels left the ground and they were thrown into an off-kilter equilibrium.

"Like you should talk." He groused before laying his own head back and fighting off the waves of dizziness from lack of sleep.

"I actually slept in the last two days, Will. Each night actually so yes, I can 'talk.'" She was looking at him again, her eyes scanning his features and he just gave her a very lame and unappreciative smile. "Sleep on the plane, then."

"Never happens."

"Hmmm…" It wasn't much longer before they'd evened out and the seatbelt sign was cut. Will had plied himself with water all morning trying to keep awake and needed to use the lavatory so bad he wasn't sure he could have made it any longer if the pilot kept the seatbelt sign on. He gladly stood and rapidly made his way forward and over Magnus' crossed legs, planting a hand on her thigh to keep himself steady as he lurched for the vacant lavatory. She chuckled in his absence and asked for a water and some white wine.

She stood herself and fiddled through her carry-on bag before pulling out a non-specific medication vile of white tablets. Taking out one, she slipped the medication back in her bag and sat down. Once the water arrived, she slipped the pill into it and waited patiently for it to dissolve.

When he arrived back, some twenty minutes later, she was glad fearing he had actually fallen asleep on the cold steel. Again, he stumbled and latched on to her bare knee to hold himself up. Finally seated, she handed him the small cup of water with a smirk, "I thought you might like this."

"Thanks," he took it and downed the entire thing. "Why are we going to Austria, Magnus? What did Ashley want to do there?"

"Well, as a little girl, one of her favorite movies was 'Sound of Music.' It was filmed in Austria and took place in there. Recently they created a tour of all the sites where they filmed and I had thought of taking her on it. Not to mention I've never taken her to Salzburg before. She and I had been to Vienna twice, but not Salzburg. I thought she might quite enjoy it."

"A tour…of 'Sound of Music?'" He yawned, his eyes closing.

"Yes, Will. A bus tour to be precise."

"A what?" He turned to look at her and she was smiling when his head lolled back into the seat and his eyes closed.

"Sleep well, young William. We'll arrive before you know it."

**A/N: Sorry I've been gone but this should be good and will hopefully make up for it all. I'm planning on posting a chapter a day since it is mostly all written. Hope you enjoy it, as it is not my usual writing and I know they're OOC but, hey, its a crack fic right? that's what's supposed to happen...and yes I'm cringing still because they are OOC. Enjoy and as always reviews are much appreciated. ~~Arones**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Ok, so its been determined that I'm more impatient than you, which is why this is being posted tonight and not in the morning. This one has nookie! yay! so enjoy it! oh and this is for AndriaAllen cuz she's as impatient as me!**

* * *

><p>Their first flight landed in Washington DC and Will still hadn't woken. He had, however, shuffled over to her and was resting his drooling face on her new custom made jacket. But she could hardly blame him; he had drugs coursing through his system. She had spoken with the flight attendant earlier and had requested a wheelchair be brought it. Her excuse was that poor William had a severe case of narcolepsy and it could take him several hours to wake up and they had a plane to catch overseas.<p>

The woman had been stunned but agreed and when he didn't even stir upon landing she was convinced Magnus was correct. They maneuvered him into the chair before anyone else exited the plane and Magnus pocketed her phone before following Will and their new escort out of the tin can. Her hand was clasping hers and Will's bags tightly while she walked through the gray hallways to their next gate. They had to weave through many people, but she didn't mind so long as they didn't miss their flight. It was a short break between the connections, but there was no other flight they could have taken.

They sat near the desk and waiting for seating to begin. Their escort left for a moment and Magnus pulled her phone out quickly and snapped a picture of Will, head tilted over his chest with a round wet spot on his shirt and a string of salvia falling down. Grinning she sent it to Henry in a text with _Soon to be boarding second flight, sleepyhead is missing quite a good ride. See you in a few days ~HM _typed underneath.

She smirked at the response of _ROFLMAO—oh Declan is so going to love this. Don't worry, source is always confidential. Lol._ She slipped the phone back into the small pocket of her jacket and wiped the drool from his lip and cleaned her finger on his jeans. Wouldn't do to have him remember that, at least not while they were gone. She kissed his cheek softly and started to push the wheelchair toward the boarding line as they were called up. Their escort had seemingly disappeared but it wasn't like she couldn't handle this on her own.

* * *

><p>The same thing happened through customs in Amsterdam, but luckily he had awoken slightly by the time they reached Salzburg. He was awake enough to walk to their taxi and promptly fell back asleep once in the lulling vehicle. He finally woke without falling back into slumber when she checked into the suite, although he was having a hard time keeping his eyes open and thinking. She decided it would be best to let him rest it off and settled him down in his room. She quickly left to take a hot shower and change into clean clothes since he had ruined her current attire. So much for breakfast at the pastry shop, that would have to wait until tomorrow.<p>

When she opened the door to leave the bathroom in her part of the obnoxiously large suit she stopped in her tracks and barely held up the towel wrapped around her when she saw Will leaning against the wall. He was angry and his eyes were glaring daggers at her. "You drugged me."

"You needed the sleep." She tilted her head and looked him over. "It seems to have worked wonders since you're no longer stumbling about."

He was frustrated and grabbed at his hair to pull on the ends as he turned in a tight circle before locking eyes with her. "Magnus, you can't go around drugging people into sleep induced states."

Her eyes flitted over him and his tousled clothes. His hair was in all sorts of disarray and his cheeks were still red from waking. "Why were you awake for that long, Will?" She was completely ignoring what he said and the fact that her skin was still tinged pink from her hot shower and that she was currently only clothed in a very tiny white towel that left very little to the imagination.

"Nothing, just… couldn't sleep." His eyes drifted down to his feet, but then he saw her bare toes, which thus led his eyes up her legs to the edge of the towel resting high on her smooth thighs. Immediately, he returned his gaze down to the floor while a blush slid over his skin. "Do you think I'm self-centered?" His question was so soft that she barely heard it, and the look on his face said he was most unsure of himself and the answer she would give.

"Oh, Will, never have I thought such a thing about you." She lifted a hand to cradle his cheek until he made eye contact with her. "What is this about?"

"Nothing, it's just…nothing."

"You can tell me what's wrong you know. I'm always here if you need someone to talk to you."

"Just leave it alone, it's nothing, I promise."

"It's Abby isn't it?"

"Magnus, just stop—" He couldn't bring himself to say anything else. There was a reticence of silence where Will refused to look at her and she refused to budge until he went further. She knew he needed time to work what had happened out in his mind, but hadn't those two days since she'd seen the email filtered through the firewall been enough? He was just figuring out what he was going to say when his words were cut off by her lips on his.

It was soft at first, gentle and not probing. Just simple and soothing: her lips and his melded together in the heat of a moment and in the comfort that the contact would bring, to both of them. However, that didn't last long enough for his sake. As soon as he was becoming comfortable with the notion of her kissing him she had his tongue entwined with hers. Her hands easily and readily fisted in the front of his shirt. Will didn't even blink, he pushed her backwards and tugged on the damp cotton and had her naked in two seconds flat. He was lifting her heated body onto the cold marble counter in the bathroom when he heard the first noise from the back of her throat.

Her skin squeaked as he slid her backwards and knocked over precious glass bottles onto the ground and heard them break and shatter. He didn't have time to think about it because his hands were gliding over her breasts to palm and massage the flesh he found there. He couldn't think, his mind wouldn't let him. He could only seek the pleasure he knew he would gain from this encounter and when she had her legs wrapped around his waist and pulled him clear into her body he knew it was all over. Her mouth never left his and he sincerely hoped it would be a long time before it did. To encourage her, Will scraped nails down her sides leaving red lines in his wake.

She wiggled against him and sucked hard on his neck, using her teeth to ensure bruising. She slipped her hands in between the buttons on his shirt and pulled harshly until the material could be moved away from him. Immediately her hands reached for his chest expecting skin and finding an undershirt. "Damn it, Will. Why must you always wear so many layers?"

"Because I never know what you're going to get me into. Layers can be useful." His mouth was at her left nipple and he bit down harshly until she arched her back and scraped her nails along his scalp moaning.

Helen's voice was husky and deep when she answered, "I suppose you're right." She pulled his head from one breast to the other.

"Of course I'm right." He mumbled the words against her before complying with her wishes and taking the other nipple into his mouth. The grasp she had on his hair was painful when she pulled his face back up to hers. She bit his lip hard when he tried to pull back again. She lifted his undershirt over his head and swiftly rid him of both the shirts he wore.

He pushed her back harshly lifting a leg up so her heel was balanced on the edge of the counter and her hand flew behind her body to find purchase. She only succeeded in pushing more tiny glass bottles off the counter and breaking them. There was an overwhelming smell of mixed perfumes and steam left over from her shower and it was intoxicating to him. Her head hit the mirror when his mouth resumed on her breasts and she whimpered lightly on contact.

He was placing bites down her abdomen until he reached her thighs. "God your skin is so soft." She chuckled at him until his mouth found her center and then she was gasping. She was gripping the edge of the marble counter and his hair when the first orgasm struck her. Her skin was sweaty and her breathing rapid when he looked up at her grinning and completely satisfied with his new found ability.

Wasting no time, she unhooked his belt and lowered her leg. She dragged his pants down his hips and pulled him to her crushing his mouth in a kiss. Magnus scooted forward until she could feel his erection bumping her inner leg and that was when she reached down to grasp him. Her fingers pumped him a couple of times until she felt the pre-cum and swished it over his head. She guided him to her and smiled when he pressed his body into hers. His rhythm started fast and she was worried he wouldn't be able to keep it up, especially after drugging him, but when his fingers clumsily brushed her clit all thoughts raced from her head.

Will brought her over the edge once more before he finally came, his head resting on her shoulder while he tried to slow his breathing. She clutched him tightly to her body and squeezed when he tried to move back. "Just give me a minute more," she whispered it and nuzzled her face into his neck pressing lips softly against his skin. "I'm sorry, about earlier, Will."

"No you're not. And you're not sorry about this either."

"You're right," she looked him in the eye and cupped her hands around his cheeks before leaning in and softly kissing his lips. "Now, would you like a shower as I'm all sticky and need another one."

He glanced over at the clear glass door and nodded slowly. "Aren't you tired at all?"

"Ah, Will. I thought you would have known me better than that by now."

"Right." He pulled out of her and slid her to the ground to lean against him. Toeing out of his shoes and socks and finally his pants he guided her toward the shower she had vacated earlier.

"We can get breakfast and then walk around the city for a few hours if you like. I thought it might be nice to have a leisurely walk before the tour. It starts at noon."

"Sounds good," he followed her in and shivered when the spray first came on. She giggled and took his mouth again as the spray beat down on his back. His hand cupped her sex and he felt her juices spilling out of her body and onto his fingers. He probed gingerly and felt her breath catch in her throat. Her hair was wet and straight against her back, but he turned her so her butt was snug against him. His fingers perused her body, feeling all the soft curves she afforded.

His lips were on her neck suckling softly and she chuckled at him, knowing exactly what he wanted. "You can mark me if you want."

"Really?" She nodded and bit her lip, but he turned her chin to look in her eyes. "You're sure?"

"Yes Will, I wouldn't have said so otherwise." He feasted on the cord of her neck until she was sure the hickey he was giving her would never disappear, but she could tell that he was thoroughly enjoying himself.

His fingers were working in and out of her with great ease and Helen couldn't help but let her body fall into his. She was barely able to stand because her legs were shaking so bad. This time there was no fumbling when his thumb slid over her clit in a tantalizingly slow circle.

She shuddered as once again she felt the waves shiver up her thighs and land low in her abdomen. She breathed his name before taking his lips in a long slow embrace, letting her body glide into orgasm and clench tightly around his fingers. He turned her to face him and continued to kiss her until she pulled back laughing.

"What?"

"I never pegged you as a kisser, William."

"I'm not sure how I should take that." She smiled and leaned into him pressing her mouth firmly to his.

"Come on, I'm famished." He couldn't argue with her on that and pulled her bottle of shampoo from the side holder and squirted a good amount into his hand. She didn't allow him to wash her, but made every effort possible to brush against him in a teasing manner. By the time they emerged their lips were chapped and skin rosy from not only the hot water. She scooted him on his way to get ready and allow her time to clean her bathroom and ready herself.


	3. Chapter 3

He swore it was only fifteen minutes from the time he left her to the time she walked into the living room that separated the two bedrooms. She was dressed in a dark pair of jeans, a long black leather jacket that stopped mid-ass and covered a long sleeved dark green plain shirt with a white silk scarf that fell to mid-thigh and conveniently hid the blooming bruise on her neck. Her hair was completely dry and curled to perfection around her shoulders and her makeup was all done up.

"How do you do that?" He glanced at his watch just to double check that he hadn't slipped back into a drugged induced sleep state for a few hours.

"Do what?" She smiled and tugged him to stand and made her way to the door.

"You know exactly what I'm talking about. I can see it written all over your face."

She grinned, "It's a Tesla invention, one I'm very grateful for and that's all you're going to hear about it."

They were walking arm in arm down the hall to the elevator. "What does it do? Speed up time in a bubble around your person so you can get changed ten times faster than everyone else?"

She rolled her eyes, "Don't be ridiculous." They walked quickly to the tiny pastry shop that was a few blocks away. She ordered for them, her tongue spitfire with the foreign dialect. He was eating something that was delicious and had sugar on top when his phone buzzed lightly in his pocket. He pulled it out and flipped it on to see a text from Declan.

There was a picture of him, leaning against Magnus' chest with drool dripping from the corner of his mouth onto the fabric of her jacket and her leaning down to press a kiss to his head like a mother would to a child. "You took a picture of me?"

"Hmmm?" She wiped her mouth with the napkin and took the proffered phone, grinning at the image of him. "Yes, I took this one. I did not, however, send it to anyone." And she was telling the complete truth. She couldn't help it if someone had accidentally hacked into her phone and stolen the photos. She might have to talk to Henry about that when she got back, especially if this weekend was to go as she planned. She could also add security to it, but she was sure that if she asked Henry he would not steal the photos from her phone. At least she hoped he wouldn't.

"You…took a picture…of me after you drugged me? What kind of person would do that?"

She blushed, "It was adorable, Will. Honestly I don't know how he got that picture. I promise I didn't send it to anyone." She took a last sip of her tea and stood decidedly ending the conversation. "Shall we walk?"

* * *

><p>They arrived at the tour just as they were beginning to allow tourists on board. He had forgotten she had mentioned something like this, but was surprised when she gripped his hand firmly and led the way with tickets already in hand. There were many couples lounging around, middle aged women and their husbands who were not looking the least bit thrilled. Well at least he wouldn't be the only one. "Magnus," he whispered, when she didn't answer he tugged on her arm lightly, "Magnus."<p>

"Yes, William? And don't you think it might be appropriate for you to call me Helen at this point?"

"Uh…I guess…are you sure you want to do this? Go on this…tour thingy?"

"That would have been the entire point of coming here would it not?" She waited for him to nod, "Then why would you think I would change my mind now?"

"Just checking."

"Alright ladies and gentlemen," the young man swung out of the bus and held himself up with one hand while leaning precariously over the end of the damp road; it had been raining lightly all morning. His accent was slight and his English excellent, "We'll be beginning our journey shortly. If you could hand your tickets to the gentleman in blue and then take your seats on the bus, please fill up the back first and sit together as it looks like it's going to be a full ride today." Will and Helen were probably the fourth or fifth people to climb into the rickety bus and Will smiled pleasantly to the elderly bus driver and the women he saw as he walked behind Magnus.

They sat down and immediately the first thing that he noticed was the music that was filtering through the stereo system. Oh this was going to be a very long day. It took him maybe twenty minutes to realize that all the gents he'd see waiting outside the bus were not on the bus with him. He looked frantically from person to person and realized he only saw fuzzy short cropped hair that belonged to middle aged women and one nine year old girl who was clutching her grandmothers hand tightly.

"Ma—Helen…where did all the men go?"

"Hmmm?"

"The men that were outside the bus when we got there, where did they all go?"

"I honestly don't know what you're talking about, Will." She glanced at him and smiled as a rather up tune began to broadcast over the speakers. He recognized it immediately as _Raindrops on Roses_ and winced. There were only so many songs in the movie and the tour was apparently supposed to take the entire afternoon and bleed into the evening as well. Thus he had to stop himself from doing the calculations to see how many times he would hear this song otherwise he might burst into tears. And that would not be manly. He took a deep breath to bolster up for the next few hours and slipped her an unbelieving look when she began to hum along. This was ridiculous.

"If you would like to glance out the right side of the bus you will see where they filmed all the scenes with the front of the house. Now you might not have noticed, but there were two houses that were used during the filming to make up the Von Trapp family home…"

Will began to lose interest real quick, but Magnus obviously didn't. She was glancing around at everything their guide pointed to and pointed to it for his benefit in case he missed it the first time he looked. He was just about ready to put his head out the tiny drop down window to escape the songs when it was announced they would be stopping at the second house where they filmed the apparently famous lake scene where they overturned the canoe. Will muttered "Thank God," under his breath and Magnus only smiled in response.

Her hand slid down his thigh and pressed her lips close to his ear just before they exited, "I promise to make it worth your wile, Will."

"You better because this is worse torture than crashing in an oil rig, having a spider crawl into my stomach, having little white albinos try to suck my brain with a spider machine—"

"I get it, thank you." She kissed his cheek softly and pulled his arm to exit the machine. Stretching her back and legs she looked around and found the gazebo that they filmed _I am 16 Going on 17_ in and made immediately for it. They only had thirty minutes before they were supposed to be back on the bus and she didn't want to waste any time wandering aimlessly. She spun around and grinned at him holding him close to her body and swaying lightly under the white washed gazebo.

"Helen?"

"Young romance is amazing isn't it? This was Ashley's favorite song." Her eyes were glittery when she looked at him and he couldn't help but smile back at her. She could hear the notes flying through her head and the words keeping up. Will was blissfully in silence.

They were joined quickly by two women who were giving Magnus dirty looks. "Don't you think he's a little young for you?" It took longer than he thought but certainly not very long before one of them spoke.

Magnus only smirked back and kissed him fully on the lips sliding her tongue along his mouth. "Oh definitely much too young for me." She gave a full laugh before dragging him out of the gazebo by the tips of his fingers and he remained silent only shrugging to the women as they left.

"What was that about?" She wrapped a hand loosely around his waist and tilted her head on his shoulder.

"Well you are too young for me."

"Everyone is too young for you, except Tesla and Druitt and I don't think you're going to end up with either of them again."

Her voice was flat when she replied. "Again?"

"Well, Druitt definitely not. Tesla, I'm not so sure of."

"Will," she chastised, "Nikola and I never—"

"Don't deny it, Helen. Vienna in the springtime?"

"What the hell?" She stopped then and looked at him. "How did you—"

"You mumble in your sleep." She rolled her eyes in response. "When you and Tesla went into that thing, few words slipped out, that's all. That and my mad deductive reasoning skills."

"Alright," she smiled and kissed his cheek quickly. "Your point has been made." They walked further along and let the geese weave in and out between their legs searching for bread that tourists obviously threw them on a regular basis. She chuckled when one decided it was hungry enough to eat Will and started to chase and follow him pecking at his calf and shoes. Will was trying, in vain, to not kick the damned thing and to not make a scene but honestly did every living creature have it out for him? She giggled, "Will, stand still." She held his arms until he stopped moving and finally the goose left his sight. "See that wasn't so bad was it?"

"Is it over yet?" He was whining, massively whining and he didn't even care.

"No, there are several more stops before they bring us back."

"Magnus, I'm the only guy on the bus. Did you notice that? I'm the only one who is on the damn tour."

"Well that just shows how committed you are."

He stopped. "Really? That's low, real low Helen." But he was smiling again.

"There's the chapel and the abbey and a few other stops. If you want we can leave after the abbey but I would prefer to stay through the whole thing."

He ran his hands up and down her arms, "Whatever you want to do, Helen, it's your choice. But I do expect to be rewarded."

"I'm sure you do," she glanced down at her watch. "There's only five minutes left, we'll have to wait until the next stop."

"Next stop for what?" But she didn't answer him, her only response was a sly grin and to start moving him back towards the bus.


	4. Chapter 4

After the requisite head count they were on their way again and he was once again listening to _Raindrops of Roses_. She decided it would be interesting so she leaned over and pressed close to his ear and began to sing the lyrics, "these are a few of my favorite things, when the dog bites…" Will groaned and decided to shut her up the easiest and only way possible. He kissed her.

She pulled back grinning when she heard the snickers and whispers around her. "We keep making scenes young William."

"That we do, Helen. Perhaps we should give them another one."

She grinned, "Perhaps…" and leaned forward to take his lips but stopped suddenly when she heard a comment clear as day.

"Why even bother coming on this if you aren't even going to pay attention to it? What you're doing is disgusting."

Helen turned then, her eyes alight with flames. "We are here because our daughter wanted to come here. She wanted to come on this tour since she saw the movie and now…" she started to choke up, tears forming in the ducts on cue and her face reddening with embarrassment. "Now, she'll never be able to."

Will caught on quick and wrapped his arms around her and kissed the top of her head. "It's alright, love." He cooed as she let the tears fall and glanced around the bus to see all the pitying faces. Will glared at everyone he could see. "Our daughter died of leukemia a little over a year ago. She was only…" think quick, he thought, he needed an age, "She was only five. We decided to do something nice for her birthday, something she would have loved to have done. Guess we should have chosen another tour to go on." He only felt a little bad about, but, after all, she was the one who had started it.

The entire bus full of middle aged women was now giving the "couple" with the "dead daughter" their condolences. Helen was tense as she kept herself wrapped around Will and she was thinking that maybe she hadn't thought this plan all the way through properly. Finally, they pulled over in an empty parking lot and were let out into a tiny town that contained the chapel where the wedding scene took place. Helen breathed a great sigh of relief when she was able to pull away from the fretting and overly maternal women that were breathing down her neck.

* * *

><p>She quickly pulled him through the sacristy and into the church where the organs were being pointed out by their tour guide and the rest of the buses occupants were snapping pictures with loud flashes and voices. She pulled him down the center aisle until she reached a confessional. She glanced around twice before shoving him inside and following closely behind. Before he could even register what was happening her lips were on his and her hands had found their way under his shirts.<p>

His voice was a muffled protest as he tried to rid her nimble fingers from his chest. He pushed them away and held them far from his body as possible. "What… are… you doing?"

"Kiss me." The need her in voice was enough to make him crazy and lean in to kiss her before he remembered he shouldn't be doing that and pulled back.

"We can't. Not here." She chuckled and latched her mouth onto his neck. Her hands maneuvered to his belt and had the dark brown leather through the first loop before he pulled back again. "Magnus, stop. This is…this is blasphemy." His voice was incredulous and edgy.

"Hardly," she muttered against his lips before massaging her tongue against his. "Just be… quiet. No one will know."

Will pushed her shoulders back so he could see her eyes, which were alight with mischief. He was doomed. "I'm not going to be able to change your mind am I?"

In response she shoved his pants down and pushed him until he was seated on the hard cold bench. He was breathing heavily and the air caught in his throat suddenly when she slid a finger over his erection. Unconsciously she licked her lips before she removed her own pants and slid the denim down to her ankles sitting astride him. "Remember Will…keep quiet."

He nodded and clenched his jaw as she immediately lowered herself onto him. She moved slowly, burying her face in his shoulder to keep her mewling to a minimum. She slowly lifted her body only to drop heavily back down. Her knees were digging painfully into the polished wood but she didn't care—this was fantastic. It had been years, well since John, if she were honest, since she'd had sex in a church. For some reason she found it most arousing.

Will grunted and his fingers slipped on her bare thigh. He decided to move his hand someplace…warmer. Yes, warmth was good. He pinched her clit hard between his forefinger and thumb only to have his hand slip when she jerked suddenly. She stopped all movements then and grinned against his neck. "That was good, Will." She kissed him lightly. "Do that again." So he did and at the same time she began her tedious rhythm again. She came strong and fast first. Her entire body dipped into his as she leaned against him catching her breath. Will gave her little time before thrusting up into her and taking her off guard enough that a rather loud squeak emerged from her. He immediately shushed her and chuckled low in his throat at his success.

"Very funny, _young_ William." Her voice was laced with anger but her eyes were laughing right along with him. This time, when he thrust upward, she moved against him counter to what he was doing.

It wasn't long before his eyes were scrunched tight and he was spilling hotly into her. Helen was once again clutching around him and sucking his lips gingerly. She halted all motion when she heard the door open and a body slip in on the other side of the confessional. Will looked panicked and she shoved off him and squished him down by her feet pressing a finger to her lips to silence him. Will, very awkwardly, manipulated his pants back up and buckled them tightly while Helen lit a stick of incense as the door to the tiny window between the two rooms opened.

There was a moment of strained silence while all bodies waited for someone to speak. Helen was the one who voiced first, knowing it would have to be her and that it was supposed to be her. She began the requisite, "Forgive me Father for I have sinned." She paused and looked at Will who was now kneeling in front of her and mouthed _"No shit Sherlock"_ while she suppressed a giggle. "It has been 126 years since my last confession."

"Years?" The disembodied voice echoed back at her.

"Hmm? Days, did I say years?" Will rolled his eyes at her.

She stopped. It had been so many she could barely remember what she was supposed to say, that and it wasn't like she was raised Catholic. Luckily, it had almost been ingrained in her at some point, probably when she was dating that Italian just after John had... well no need to get into that at the moment. "I have sinned many times and many ways, Father. And I have not resisted the temptation to do so again."

Will was fascinated with how she stayed so calm. He spread her legs more until he was able to sit on his bum and relieve his joints of the pressure. His knees were under her body and the bench she rested on. If she were planning on going through all her sins since her last confession, they were going to be there a while.

"Speak my child." The disembodied voice once again was quiet and warm and, actually quite creepy if Will thought about it for long.

"To begin with, I have killed a man…" Will looked up at her; yes, a long time. Without thinking he leaned forward and licked clean up her folds feeling intoxicated by her scent. He shrugged internally, _in for a penny…_ he thought and sucked hard on her clit before she clapped him hard on the ear moaning softly and pulled him a way. The look she gave him was a definite warning. He was forgetting how easily two could play at this game.

Will valiantly ignored her attempts and took her hand that was clenching his ear and weaved their fingers together tightly. He leaned back in to taste her as her voice rang out. "I know it was wrong," a deep breath, "and a mortal sin, but the man was…" he bit her clit roughly, "was trying to kill hundreds of people. I…" she was having a hard time concentrating, but she couldn't ask him to stop. "I shot him and saved those people."

Her other hand was dangerously pulling on his curls to the point where he thought he would lose a good chunk of hair and be walking around with a bald spot for months. "And do you repent for your actions?" Again the far away voice.

Will slid two fingers into her warm pussy and she cried out, "Yes" louder than she had expected. Her cheeks flushed red in embarrassment while she still tried her best to hold back any more vocalizations.

"Repent your sins child and ask for forgiveness."

She breathed deep and her legs began to quake. "I have lied on many occasions," another deep and steadying breath, "hurt the ones I love," two more inhalations that were short and raspy and she called out one of her favorite phrases when Will bit her clit again, "Dear lord… …forgive my transgressions." She tagged on at the end to make her words appropriate.

"For the murder you must say the rosary. Say twelve Hail Mary's and all will be forgiven."

She came hard. Her juices spilled onto Will's tongue. "Thank you Father." Her voice was breathy and lost in pleasure. Helen barely recognized that the man had left and gently pulled Will to her lips savoring their mingling flavors. "Don't…try that again."

"You know telling me that will only make me want to do it again."

"Cheeky." She glanced at her watch with a manicured nail quickly, "We need to hurry or we're going to miss the bus."

"Well if someone would go to confession more often we wouldn't have the problem of hundreds of years of sins to repent for." She smacked him lightly before pulling up her pants and fastening her belt. "Helen…you said we could skip out early."

"I know Will, but we're going to the Abbey next." The light in her eyes said he wasn't going to get out of this one either.

"And you're not afraid we'll burn up on entry?"

"That's nonsense, Will, completely myth." She pulled him along leaving without saying her prayers and receiving forgiveness for her various sins.


	5. Chapter 5

As soon as they reached the bus and took their designated seats that were left Will was groaning. The damn music would kill him eventually, he was sure of it. He was also sure that the quick walk to the vehicle did nothing to alleviate the smell of sex from him or from her and that the ancient woman who was sitting behind then and sniffing rather rudely was completely aware of what they had just done.

"Helen," his hand was firmly wrapped in hers, their fingers were entwined and she had a slight and very satisfied smile on her face. "Helen." He shook her hand this time to get her attention. She leaned her head on his shoulder and hummed. "I think we've been had."

"Oh don't be silly, William. Of course they know, it's what two _young_ people in love do."

He almost snorted but contained it just in time, he didn't want her wrath if she was so pleased and content with herself at the moment and, he had to admit, lovely smelling as he brushed his face against the top of her head. He wrapped an arm around her back and tugged her tightly against his side, again the phrase _in for a penny_ flitted through his mind.

She fell asleep against him as the bus jostled along, but when they reached the tiny town, or at least in view of the tiny town where the Abbey was located, Will felt he should probably wake her up. His mind ran through all the logical ways to wake her: shaking her lightly, pressing a kiss to her forehead, trailing a finger along her sleep warm cheek. Yet, none of it seemed good enough. His mind quickly formed a plan and before he could talk himself out of it he slipped his hand up the back of her shirt and flicked her bra open. Helen mumbled something incoherently and nuzzles further into him, her shoulders rolling slightly.

Will only grinned to himself at his success, had she not stayed away for that entire trip from Old City to here he was sure he would not have gotten away with his _advances_. He slid his hand further up and moved the straps on her shoulders down her arms until they wouldn't go any further in her sleeves. Next he moved his hand around and pinched her left nipple lightly. His body was still cradling hers and her face was still locked in place at his neck when he felt her breathing quicken. She was awake, he was sure of it. Moving his hand a little further he managed to palm her entire breast and squeeze harshly before flicking his thumb over her errant nipple and helping it rise to a hard peak.

"William," she murmured softly, "If you keep doing that…" she had to pause to moan softly because he twisted said nipple in a hard circle. "We're not going to leave this bus and I highly doubt you want to sit here with this music for the rest of the evening." He gave her skin one more pull before slowly backing his hand away to the curve of her waist. She sighed into him and pressed lips to his warm throat.

* * *

><p>It was several hours later and they were finally leaving the bus and the perpetual music that would no doubt leave him awake for hours while he tried to rid the noise from his brain. He was exhausted. Not only was it a long day in the sense of dealing with the music and the middle aged women and the time change and traveling; but Magnus had successfully jumped him twice and he was not as young as he used to be. Even if he wasn't as old as she was he still needed to rest sometimes.<p>

They left the bus and he heaved a heavy sigh as he waited for Helen to say her goodbyes to the women she had apparently befriend during his twenty minute nap on the way back to Salzburg city center. She handed one of the women her "cards" that she carried around with her. It was a fake business card that she gave out when she thought that someone might call but probably wouldn't. He had received a different card.

It was something he was grateful for. She hooked her arm into his and rested her head on his shoulder as they slowly made their way along the road. "There's a dinner tonight."

"And I'm assuming from that tone that you want to go to said dinner."

"I would, very much so. I promise tomorrow we can do something you want." He kissed the top of her head and remained silent, they were lucky neither had been called away on an emergency already so tomorrow was no guarantee and they both knew it. They were halfway to their hotel before he realized where she was bringing him. At his sudden look around the street corners she chuckled, "I thought we could _freshen_ up and change before dinner. It is a bit more of a formal affair though not formal as to require a tux." She laughed at the look on his face and pressed her palm to his chest to stop him and kiss his lips.

* * *

><p>She was just pinning up the last tendril of hair that had fallen loose when he knocked lightly on the door. Helen beckoned him in and he stood in a circle turning with his hands outstretched. "Fancy enough?"<p>

She laughed and let her eyes roam over her tan slacks and blue button up shirt and deep satin tie that she'd gotten him for his birthday last year. "Most definitely." She stood and mimicked his movements. "Fancy enough?" She was draped in a dark green dress that fell to her mid-thigh and flared out from her hip. When she spun it danced in a little circle around her and he couldn't help himself as he grinned and pulled her hand so she spun into him and he began a slow waltz.

He had her arm lifted high with his and his fingers kneading softly at her waist and into the soft flesh he found there. "You're gorgeous, as always." His lips were brushed close to her ear and he felt her quiet shiver as his breath caressed over her.

"So sweet, William."

"Mmmhmmm," he twisted her in a spin and caught her gently as she came back to him. "So what's my reward?"

She smirked and moved with him correcting the angles of the steps and his arms slightly. "We should leave soon?" He groaned and was about to open his mouth in a whine but stopped when he saw the short look she was giving him. "I promise it will be worth it."

"I'm sure." He leaned in and pecked her lips quickly not wanting to mess up her lipstick and held out his arm for her. "Got a shawl?"

"Oh! Yes, I almost forgot it, thank you." She raced over to her vanity and grabbed the silken fabric and threw it over her shoulders. He wrapped her tightly in it and kissed her lips once more before leading her out of the room.


	6. Chapter 6

Will was going to shoot her. As soon as he could find a gun he would shoot her but at the moment any weapon would work. She had _volunteered_ him to go up on stage and sing with the waiters and performers. Now he was dancing with them and singing words he only knew because of the damn tour and was praying the earth would swallow him up or some nasty abnormal would come bounding through the doors and make everything have to stop.

But no! That wasn't going to happen. She had volunteered HIM. Not her, the one who had wanted to come on the bloody trip, but him. So here he was, standing in between two plump women who are red faced and breathing heavily and spittling all over him. Yup, he was definitely going to kill her.

It was a good twenty minutes before he was released back to his seat and he sat down with a great up and buried himself in the wine that appeared next to his still rather full plate. He downed the wine quickly and grinned when she proffered the bottle in a silent question of whether he wanted more or not. They were not seated with anyone from the bus tour and thank God because he really had enough of those folks. Unfortunately, he was sure that whatever Magnus was doing with her hand in his pants would cause these patrons to think just as those others had. However, whatever she was doing, he sure as hell hoped she would never stop.

Magnus had gracefully unzipped his slacks and slid her manicured hand in to grasp him lightly. She was tracing circles and figure eights with two nails and smiling and laughing with the patron sitting next to her all the while. He was a man who was completely entranced with her beauty, much to the disapproval of his wife. He was in his mid-fifties probably and couldn't keep his eyes off Magnus' low neckline and apparent cleavage (luckily the hickey was on the other side of her neck otherwise Will might be getting a scowl from the man). He couldn't blame the man; Will himself was having difficulty keeping his eyes off her jiggling breasts.

He didn't wait much longer, he couldn't he was about to spill into her hand and over the crotch of his pants and that would not be the best thing in the world. Will leaned over and presses his lips to her ear, "You're going to have to either stop and finish dinner or take me somewhere a little more private." He pressed a chaste kiss to her cheek to make their exchange seem more appropriate.

She brushed her lips with her napkin and pressed it to the table gingerly and spoke to the other guests they were sitting with, "You'll have to forgive us," she gave them a brilliant and heart wrenching smile. "We have another engagement that we're needed at." Will had managed to zip his pants up without anyone noticing and stood pulling out Helen's chair for her. He could play the gentleman; at least he would try to play it for her.

He brushed her wrap onto her shoulders and held his arm out for her, which she took gratefully and pressed close to him as they began to leave the room. She was smiling like he had never seen. Helen seemed so relaxed. As soon as they were out of the double doors that contained the basement dining room and the place of horror as Will was now calling it she had him pressed against the wall in the hallway. Her tongue was tangling with his and her hands were restless against his covered flesh. "Will…"

"Hmmm?" He was so entranced with what her tongue was doing that he wasn't paying attention.

It must have been a few minutes because she pulled back and giggled; her eyes were once again bright with mischief. "Will, I don't think we're going to make it back to our hotel."

"God I hope not." His hand was at the back of her and he easily dragged her forward and into him again. Her lips were so soft, he could get lost in them for days; he was sure of that. And her hair, God he loved her hair. He wanted to twine his fingers into the locks that were falling loose, or better yet, just pull the pins and let her hair flow down over her shoulders. She was laughing again. He leaned away to look at her face. "What?"

She pecked his lips softly and took his hand leading him further down the hallway and away from the singing that had resumed after a short video of the real Von Trapp family. Will took his hands and pressed them to her hips, marveling in the way they swayed back and forth as she walked and sure she was adding in extra sass because she could. She led him through the large kitchen that was located rather close to the dining area and into a smaller room off to the right side. No one had seen them enter the kitchen. There had been chefs and assistants all around, waiters and waitresses running practically in circles he was sure, but no one seemed to notice them. Which was odd, but he didn't put much thought into it because as soon as they entered that other room her hands were all over him.

There was no light in there and only a faint 'Exit' sign that was lit up over the door they had just entered through. He tried to look around but her lips were so distracting. It wasn't until his back was against the cold metal that he realized they were in a large refrigerator in the hotel kitchen. He shoved her shoulders back and looked her in the eye, "The fridge? Really?"

Helen only shrugged and switched their positions so that she was pressed against the metal. "Better?"

"Sure," the word was mumbled against her neck where his lips had taken up residence. He took his time working the skin there until she was moaning and moving her hips against him.

"Will," she had to take a breath to catch up. "I hate to rush, love, but…we are in a fridge, in a kitchen, in a hotel. Someone is sure to come in for something at some point."

Will took the hint and shoved the bottom of her skirt up above her waist and lifted her hips. Helen wrapped her legs around him and locked her ankles tightly. Somehow, she had once again managed to unzip his pants without his knowing. When he glided his hands up further he found her completely bare and ready for him. He grunted when she wrapped slim fingers around him, warming the flesh that was rapidly cooling in the temperature controlled climate.

"Now, Will." He bent his head to her shoulder and slid tenderly into her, but he smirked when she decided to take a moment before moving again to get used to the feeling. He wasn't going to give it to her. He backed away and slammed into her so her back and head hit the steel with a loud crash. Helen groaned and braced her hands on his shoulders as he cupped her ass to hold her up better. He thrust into her again and the breath from her chest was knocked clean out of her body. "Will, slow down." She spoke as soon as she could again, but it was no use. He was once again lost in her. He was going to come, he knew it. The pressure was building in his spine and he could no longer feel the cold. He sunk his teeth into her neck just before he began to spill hotly into her and pulled back drawing in a deep breath.

Helen planted a hand over his mouth and tugged his body close to her and looked wildly about when the door opened and two cooks came in looking for supplies. He was breathing heavily and trying his damnedest to not make a sound knowing she would not be pleased if he did. Unfortunately, they didn't have a choice. One of the cooks, a young black man, looked over and saw them in their _precarious_ position.

Will, reluctantly, let her down and adjust her dress while he was hiding her so that she wouldn't be exposed in front of their onlookers. She smiled and took his hand leading him very carefully out of the fridge. She whispered to the man who had caught them in a secretive tone, "We just got married." She grinned and walked out with Will in tow.

* * *

><p>Helen didn't stop tugging on his arm until they were back in their room. When she took her shawl off, he noticed the marks on her back. When his fingers flitted over them she sighed contentedly and leaned back. The marks were definitely in the same design as the steel that covered the walls of the fridge, he hadn't realized. "Sorry," he leaned down and kissed the side of her neck and down the low cut back of the dress.<p>

"It's alright; I would have stopped you if it hurt."

He snorted, "Sure you would have." He led her over to the small kitchenette that they had and leaned her against the counter. "Let me make some dessert, since we … uh … missed it." She sat up on the counter and watched him pull out some ice cream and fudge. He put the glass fudge jar into the microwave and heated it while he scooped out some ice cream and fed her a good spoonful. She savored the cold sweet treat and swung her legs back and forth against the cabinet door, letting her heels drop heavily to the ground. She spread her toes and stretched the muscles in her feet loving the bare feel.

She was looking down at her toes and was not expecting the drop of hot liquid that coursed over her shoulder and down her chest and cleavage to rest underneath her bosom. She sat straight up and looked down at the brown sludge that was now gracing her pale flesh. "What the—Will!" She turned to glare at him but he was already grinning and overturned the spoon and another drop slid down her collar bone and onto her dress.

"Whoops," he grinned and leaned down to lick the material clean.

Helen stamped down her urge to jump up and clean the dress—it could be dry cleaned later and the stain would come out. She pulled his lips to her and kissed him strongly while he pushed her back onto the counter so his body was covering hers. He picked up his hand and dipped it into the glass that was still sitting next to her leg from where he had set it earlier. He traced his two fingers over her cheek and down her neck left a hot trail of fudge in his wake. Her look was vexed to say the least, but he was so pleased with himself he could have been pie for all he cared.

He licked her should the warm fudge melting on his tongue and her skin tasted wonderful with it smeared all over her. He slid his hand down under the edge of the bottom of her dress and lifted up his chocolaty fingers tangling in the material until she was bared to him. By the time he reached the soft skin between her thigh and her hip his fingers were without fudge. Frowning slightly he moved them back over to the jar and dipped them back in. He looked at his fingers and then looked at her and grinned broadly before shoving his two fingers into her warm pussy.

Helen cried out and he slid his tongue over her chest. He swirled his fingers in a tight circle before pulling them back out and licking them clean. Taking the straps he lowered them down until her shoulders were bare. He continued to pull the material down until it was bunched at the top of her hips. He dipped his fingers back into the jar and lifted up slightly on his elbow so he could look at what it was drawing. He made a large circle that went from just under her naked breasts to below her belly button. The he made two streaks down on either side inside the circle and a curved line under it. The middle of the curved line happened to land right on her naval and she grinned and squirmed when it tickled. Then he dipped his fingers into the jar again and dropped a giant glob in between all the lines.

He smirked when Helen lifted up on her elbows to look at what he was doing. "A smiley face? Really Will that's—" but her words were but off by his fingers in her mouth. She sucked off the rest of the chocolate on his fingers and tasted her lingering flavor on him. It was sensational. Will reached over and grabbed another jar that she hadn't seen him place next to her. He unscrewed the cap quickly and began to shake the little round and multi-colored sprinkles over her abdomen. He let them stick to the now cooling fudge. He let the other ones fall over her sides and onto the marble before the bounced and disappeared from his sight.

He kissed her again and laid her back down pulling up the now warm and melting ice cream and dropping a very cold chuck of it on her left breast. Grinning, he pulled back and began to slowly eat it off her skin. She mewled softly under him and lifted her hips to slide her dress completely off. Will was thankful for her ingenuity and promptly dripped caramel over her sex before she even had a chance to lie back down. "William," her voice was soft and cheeky, "I will require a bath of you after this."

"Of course," he swirled his tongue over her and dipped his fingers back into the fudge jar before shoving them into her again. Helen arched her back.

"Was this…your plan along?"

He smirked against her and bit her clit hard, "Always wanted a 'Helen Sundae.'" She could only respond with a gasp as his fingers curled up and hit that wondrous spot. She came crashing down around him and clenched his fingers tightly. Will was grinning all the while licking her clean of juices and chocolate and caramel. Helen eventually pulled his head back harshly.

"Enough. I need to breathe." Will slid up her body and wrapped his arms around her so she could lean her head on his shoulder and breathe. He kissed her neck softly and waited until he was sure she was completely calm.

"Ready for that bath?"

She practically choked on the air she was drawing in. "Um…yes." Moving back so she could catch his eye, she looked him over. "But only a bath." He nodded in agreement and slid her dirty body down so she could stand and slowly led her to the large tub in her bathroom.

**A/N: OK this is it kiddies! hope you enjoyed it and thank you to Muse of T-GhostPenWriter for the help with the last scene. ~~Arones**


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